dios trio

you could build a sunset with a pile of sticks and break my heart with it

this is regarding olde pine but its sort of relevant:

i was just reading some forum where somebody posted our music (thanks if that was you, by the way). theres a little debate whether we are an “emo/twinkly” band or a “pop punk” band. its a fair debate, honestly i have no idea.

id say my biggest writing influences for this band are currently: algernon cadwallader, owen, american football, my heart to joy, castevet, merchant ships, snowing, among others. however i started playing music in the first place because of a lot of pop punk bands. bands like blink 182, motion city soundtrack, the get up kids, say anything, and other shit like that which i cant think of.

i use the term emo/twinkly/skramz to describe this band VERY loosely. i understand, this might not be your “emo/twinkly/skramz etc”, and you’re free to call it whatever you’d like.

i definitely don’t listen to “emo” bands all the time. i listen to a lot of math rock and instrumental stuff.

all im saying is i think its a stupid debate and we just like to play music that is fun for us. i know you’ve heard that before but seriously tony and i just fuck around until something makes us smile or move around and then we make songs around that.

tomorrow’s to do list:

-ship t-shirt orders that have been waiting for over a week (my bad)

-hang out with tony/play music with tony/maybe record an olde pine song

-maybe watch some bored to death with tony

-go get face melted off by tera melos

they say when you’re lonely you sometimes start to treat objects as if they were humans or some shit… im sort of starting to do that with my guitar stuff… fuck

i drive my car home from school every night, usually i have the music loud because thats what i like to do. however, every now and then, i feel like i completely zone out, dont care about the music im listening to, not really consciously making the choice of whats going on in my head. complete auto pilot kind of driving. no thoughts about driving, or anything really. the only thing i think about is what if she doesnt come back, what if i never see her again, what if she never calls me again, and what if she doesnt even have a second thought about it?

as of late, this has been happening too much. and honestly there is nothing i can do about it. i dont know how to deal with anything like this. and shes the only person who i could talk to about something that is bothering me this much. shes gone, and literally ive never felt more lonely, especially when i need someone to just listen. no bullshit it sucks.

also to be clear, i dont like bitching about this sort of thing. the first 18 years of my life had so little drama, and if there ever was drama i would get over it so quick, i was like a fucking etch a sketch when it came to feelings. if i didnt like it, literally, just shake that shit off and start drawing again. i still feel like im this way, but she is the only etch a sketch ive never been able to just “shake off”.

okay so i thought i didnt really know what to do with myself but now i am totally fucking lost. some of the best things are happening to me and i cant enjoy any of them.